National Parents' Week this year is from Monday 20th October to Sunday 26th October and the theme is 'Getting it right for parents'.

Last year I opened a 'Parent Support' petition at http://petitions.pm.gov.uk/parentsupport. It closed in February  year with over 80 signatures.

Because this was less than the 200 required to get a response from the government nothing happened. Or, so it seemed. In fact there is now a strong emphasis in the eductaion system on offering support to parents to help us to engage positively with our children's education, behaviour and wellbeing.

Ever since Family Life Ministry was introduced in Leeds Diocese about 12 years ago we have done this by offering a good selection of very reliable parenting programmes which parents themselves can run at home in schools and in parishes. The good news this year is that now we have the funding to develop this work by employing a dedicated Parenting Support Worker for the three years of the funding starting September 2008.

This new Parenting Support Project will work to encourage parents and engage parents and volunteers to introduce sound, tried and tested, parenting programmes and other reliable resources to parents through schools and parishes. The main focus will be on develpoing positive family relationships and behaviour and offering parents support in their children's faith development and sacramental preparation. 

Parents who have taken our programmes have found their lives transformed as their relationships at home have improved. However, given the enormous challenge it is to raise a child, I am always surprised by the fact that the demand for these enjoyable and easy to follow programmes is not greater and this is what the Parenting Support Project will address.

ALL parents struggle at some time. The difficulties are not confined to a particular class, creed, education, income, location, nationality or race. My own approach to parenting has been considerably helped (although it remains imperfect!) by meeting with other parents to talk about our concerns, share ideas for strategies that works and follow a clear, well organised and very well informed programme.

What disturbs me about the latest political enthusiasm for parenting programmes is the negative context within which they are often discussed. Every parent, not just those whose struggle becomes public when their children refuse to go to school or begin to behave in anti-social ways, should have appropriate access the best support and encouragement.

The importance of being a parent cannot be overstated. Research literature confirms time and again the needs of babies and young children for loving, attentive, engaged, responsive care and interaction with at least one or two committed adults. No adult can provide that kind of care and commitment without lots of support from their own adult relationships, their family and friends and the wider community. This is why the quote "it takes a village to raise a child" has become a cliche. [Go to 'Marriage' at the top of the page for marriage and couple relationship support and enrichment as well as for marriage preparation]

Parenting is not only the most important 'work' we do it is also one of the most difficult. This also has become a cliche and yet we need to find a way to break through these platitudes to help people, especially the people who can make changes, like politicians, to wake up to the reality:

Quite simply nothing else in life demands as much of us in terms of time or emotional energy and almost nothing else has as much potential to effect change in the world as raising our children. This is why marriage and family life, including parenting, can legitimately be called a vocation.

Pope John Paull II said that "God himself is present in human fatherhood and motherhood" (Letter to Families s9).  Jesus taught us to call God our father. This tells us something not only about God's great love for all his children but also about the importance of human parenthood!

Whatever natural talents or difficulties our children are born with, we as parents have enormous opportunity to shape how that potential develops. [We are not responsible for everything our children do!  But we can learn strategies for helping them to manage their behaviour] Because of this our responsibilities as nurturers of the adults of the future need to be taken seriously and recognised as a public role worthy of the best support available.

This is where my reservations about much public discourse on parenting come in. Of course politics is a short term game whereas parenting is a long term commitment.

All the evidence suggests that most parents sent, via 'parenting orders', on parenting courses do appreciate it and do benefit from their experience there. But because these programmes are perceived in a punitive context many other parents and grandparents who would benefit from similar are put off from joining. The sooner we adopt support strategies within our communitites to help ALL parents the better. Hence, our approach in the Dioecese of Leeds is universal. No-one is 'targetted'. Every parent will be able to access the course available within their school or parish community

You do not need to go to a parenting academy or on a course to run our parenting programmes (although training is available). You simply need to have a desire to think about how you parent and a willingness to get together with family, friends, parishioners or other parents at school.

If you want support locally we will now be able to offer it through the Parenting Support Project.  Just get in touch and you can be guided through all that needs to be done to get together with others and use these resources. Most programmes come with a video and handbook and offer opportunities to talk about particular issues like behaviour, discipline, praise, assertiveness, how to talk about sex and so on. Most things that concern us as parents are there.

To find out more about the Parenting Support Project contact us.